THIS KID

thinking

long horrible immutable thoughts

well horrible is an exaggeration, in fact a horrible exaggeration. HAHA

this fall brings great change in my life. but i feel as if lately I am changing a lot. It can be a little bit awful because of the effort I am having to put forth. I have been stressin like crazy. Change job, change living, change life. Still have good attitude through tribulation. I will not lie, lately I have been getting the worst of myself. Still though I am able to stay focused. through it all I know that all I can do is my best.


I dont know I just have a lot racing through my head. NY NY NY NY STAY STAY STAY GOOOO

opportunity apply apply. write feverish writing so much that I am spewing every singe ounce of myself in written word as if it is my job ,,,, for jobs for life for me sharing so much . ... too much. through it all. well I dont know what I have learned.

something is teetering in my mind about this experience. no existential crisis just maybe I am learning about people and imperfections and how deep seeded it all can be how much back story history and all of those sorts of things life can have and things if left unchecked can get the best of people sometimes. The difference between open minded understanding and dealing with bullshit is more clear to me. but it is such a gray/grey? area. I mean everything reaches its tipping point. I have come to mine.... PS... the book the tipping point although semi interesting.......not written well enough. do not buy, check it out of the library not valid for collecting.

which reminds me sorry about my last melo-dramatic post about a boy. I forgive said the no one that reads this. THATS RIGHT I KNOW NOBODY READS THIS.

but talking to myself out loud or in my head is less fluid by far.

today I was listening, eavesdropping, on someones diatribe about how everyone helping them is a distraction. it is food for thought. How can someone be so ungrateful and yet idiotic and stupid and selfish. I have no other words for this, I will marinate on the subject and think about something more viscous to say on the matter. it was an odd surprise to hear. also i guess you never know who is listening.

HAHAH I am... SUP.

ok later....sorry I am a messy child right now.

need mad hugs from my own soul. P.S. I love you is a good movie.

I like romance. cheesey ooy gooy lovey dovey stuff. I am a cornball. now im just rambling on.