okay SO allergies........not so much.

yeah uh. i have a full on sickness. how?
well i dont know. i thought it was allergies. God Fuck. and also. why dont I have friends who understandddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ok i mean. they do but like GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
fuck face. why am I so different and at odds and ends and the world is spinning. WTF is this axis shit about. why cant you spin the regular way? crooked, the world spinning all out of whack and YOU WANT ME TO DO YOGA? i dont fucking think so. next im gonna get a book about it and a mat. and have conversations about how zen I am. Fuck that. I dont want to be zen.
I hate relaxing!
I hate relaxing!
I hate relaxing!
I hate relaxing!
I hate relaxing!
I hate relaxing!
I hate relaxing!
I hate relaxing!

I AM MAD! damn it. and i dont want to talk about it to anyone. well except one person WHO ISNT HERE. and it's not my mom so SHUT UP! im not gonna be nice anymore. im gonna chain smoke and chain drink and chain sex. and you know why? YOGA. and it's not really yoga but that is a metaphor for the reason I am acting out. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i've decided to be mad. i've decided to be mad. I wish i could change my mind.
i wish i could change my mind.
ok over it

fuck

allergies.

im gonna go buy pills. nice subtle antihistamines. maybe i will go old school with some bennies or new school with zyrzies or claries. hotness i feel my sickness melting away already and my sould is breathing a sigh of relief as I pass out in exhaustion. sleep you allergic baby. WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME WITH NO CHOICES. and to the doctor who told me i should change my lifestyle. NEVER. I will never stop not for me and not for you. DAMN IT.

although im pretty sure he thought i was a drug addict. infuriating.

ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE. middle C?
I uh. i UH I UH HAVE A HOME> I am with home. i live in the bushwick. thats right williamsburgs younger fatter cousin. but hey, willie and I still hang sometimes. you know when it dark outside and he has been drinking. and the free wifi at startbucks has gone to my head because i forgot to hit up the dollar store to get modelling clay.
tomorrow at noon.
I have a job you whore.
NEVER WILL I GIVE UP MY FREEDOM.
GET OUT OF MY BED.
you were not invited. although for a small fee you can contribute to my freedom. and people please listen..................contribution..............contribute...........contraband........contraception.

if you listened to all of that. you must have been reading out loud.