Soul Fucker

Oh hey blog filled with me talking to myself about my things that arent actual objects.
Get it together beca......fine okay I will.

eyes adjust........

I was recently wondering very vigorously about a question I will never ask. these things in life that eat at you so hard may not ever be questions that are solved. maybe that is why they sink themselves so deeply in the thoughts because they are ever present questions. the only things that can answer my questions are time. The mind thinks it knows the answer but also time is just important. I takes time for real things to happen, substantive things. it always happens that these questions are only ever solved in one moment but it takes time to get to that moment. consider the work and the living that leads up to all these wonderful moments. all the experiences good and bad had to have happened.

What am i even getting at? Am I being to vague? I don't hold myself accountable to these questions. they just exist within me and i have no control. the control is in the censoring. the lack of advertising my true questions in the questioning of questions.

Have you ever watched someone destroy themselves?
it is pretty interesting. I have seen so many form of this and even within myself. I feel that everyone has a bit of it, some are worse of than others and others are so complex with it. one of the more interesting self destruction techniques involves many types of self sabotage spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and always unaware. Understanding why people do those things to themselves is such a puzzle sometimes. I know a guy who is just always trying to fiercly prove to himself he is a man, i wonder if he grew up without a father, or with a demeaning father, or with no father and a mother who hated men. BLAME THE PARENTS? perhaps it is not even their fault, the school system, the chips on your should put on their by little timmy in 5th grade, ashley noticed my nose when i was 15 and her comment about blackheads causes me to always pick at them and scar my nose..of that I have been fully aware. it is the things i am unaware of that i find perplexing and what i have seen from people who are unaware of their own weaknesses and constantly taking advantage of themselves. people need people to protect them from themselves. who is going to save you from yourself if your parents couldn't do it? but this is just a thought gone to far.... a question............made up answers.........self directed existence.

Here is a definition form the devils dictionary that i liked.....found funny
Advice: The smallest current coin.
Example:
Tim: The man was in such deep distress said tom that i could do no less than give him good advice
jim: if less could have been done for him, i know you well enough my son to know that's what you would have done.

baddabing thats funny. what a mean dad. see now that kid probably always grew up thinking everything he did wasnt good enough.

his dad was right though and that kid grew up inside each and every one of us. little bigfat americans wokring our hands to the nub and working our nubs to nothing. thank God for Coca Cola which refreshes me after a long day of work and replenishes my fat that I will one dayuse to enhances my sagged ragged face when i get older. and the retirement money from social security that I will use for collagen and breast implants at age 64. AMERICAAAAAA<3. seriously though..
Soul fucker is a great title.

Children are the future, not now.