Monday, February 24, 2014

So notes from the month.....



Sometimes I get really intense. Feelings are so immensely complicated and everchanging. Sometimes I feel like I write stuff down so I can capture those instances where a flood was roaring within me and maybe in my quieter moments I can reflect and understand where exactly this intensity is stemming from. Understanding, however, is such a loaded word, with levels of depth and types. How does anyone ever get understood by anyone else? It must be more than the mind guiding us, because words are so inadequate, a look, a gesture these all come into play. The subtleties of depth. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

hangover

Mr. hangover
coming to work at 3
complaining that he doesnt want to be here
wasting my time.

Mr hangover, youre an asshole

Monday, February 3, 2014

Escapism, desensitization, addiction, rich misery?

Remember when you were an addict and you hurt everyone around you?


 Oh shit you don't and you're dead. 


Why does escapism appeal in this way, in our culture, to so many people. 


Is it that hard to exist without needing to bend reality into something, so that we can handle the times we are living in? Does anyone learn to deal with real pain anymore instead of popping a pill to cope. 


Can we find healthier ways to escape and delve within ourselves? 

Why don't we? 

How many people have to die or Kill themselves accidentally on purpose leaving dozens of shattered hearts along the way.  

How many parents, friends, children have to watch the person they love, lie, steal, and become horrible people to sustain there addiction only to never get better and die? What the fuck is going on? Why is watching the news so hard and how can people watch that shit everyday? 



Do you know what it's like to love someone who will never get better? 


Maybe everyone's too disengaged and Desensitized to care.


Why is people dying of addiction an everyday thing. RIP Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Instead of, I'm sorry your lost your battle with addiction, why is this happening to our generation? Why are the talented rich successful people needing to escape reality so bad that they kill themselves. What's going on here? Why is it so hard to be present in this day and age?  Nobody is asking the real questions that matter because they're concerned with all the shit that doesn't matter.  Like all the movies they won't get to see..


I'm done now.


Just tired of hearing about this shit. 

Of living this shit


Shit,


Beca

Sunday, February 2, 2014

(Leggs)



your smile glinted in my mind
reminiscence of you left me on the pavement paralyzed with laughter